So first up on my list last Thursday night we went out for pre-theatre dining and the theatre, with my Mum (Mother's day gift) and my sister. I wrote a poem after the event - please feel free to scroll on down, if it isn't for you.
We set off at ten to five as promised
Arrived to find Mum all ready
Melanie nowhere to be seen
Apparently this 'out' thing isn't her these days
More comfy in gym wear than make up and a dress
"I'm going to give her back the leather jacket"
Mum declares
I nod like it makes sense,
She's walking around now
(She's not I think in my head, I would have seen her)
Eventually Mum retrieves the leather jacket
and we wander out
Melanie appears just after I've helped Mum in the car
Minus a jacket which technically I'm holding
She looks lovely, they both do,
Dressed up for a night out
We park up in a disabled bay and use Mum's blue badge
Across the road the restaurant awaits
I wonder which table we'll get
As normally it is just us two
We get the corner one which is lovely
Water appears and bread fairly quickly
Mum and Melanie seeking recommendations
Mum spots the wine list
"Oooooh wine" she declares
After a while of perusing she says she wants the malbec
but it only comes in bottles not glasses
I have visions of us trying to stuff the other half of the bottle in a bag
She orders cabernet sauvignon and let's the waiter know to keep an eye open for her empty glass
Which makes us giggle
We sit and chat
Melanie plays out the pretty woman scene when she sees far too many knives and forks on the table
We chat and catch up
Talking Holly Willow-booby curtains and boocle woolly ones of all things
And Melanie sledding two bins through Dunelms
Provides mental images like no other
Starter arrives
Cod and chorizo fishcake for Craig and Mum on a bed of roasted red pepper sauce
Melanie and I have gone for sourdough stilton rarebit with wild mushrooms and red wine jus
We munch our way through and soon the plates are getting empty
Melanie tucks into her bread as they come to remove starters
"Are we done"
We obviously aren't as Melanie is eating her bread
The water waitress wanders past again
But our glasses are still full
Eventually we are finished and they clear the plates
The restaurant has filled and it is lovely to sit and relax
Melanie has been to the hairdressers
So for once her new 'do' gets an outing that doesn't involve the gym or work
Even her hairdresser celebrated apparently
Main is lamb for all of us with fondant potato and black olive tapanade and green beans which I would have cooked longer
We soon polish off the food
Melanie concerned she finished her's too fast but Craig is finished at the same time
Pudding is a strange choice and even weirder when it arrived
We all ignore the overly sweet sticky toffee pudding with a syrup
Mum and Craig plump for apple tart, custard and ice cream
Yes and ice cream
Melanie and I go for the dessert with the longest name but we picked up the words chocolate so in our words
"It'll do"
The fork and spoon are placed on the table in a knife and fork kind of way
Mum immediately places them together above the invisible plate
"That's not right" she says
We giggle
Mum was spending her time trying to get the eye of the wine waiter
The dessert waitress gets told to tell him her glass is empty
He comes over
Takes the order
And then arrives back with dessert
"I haven't forgotten your wine" he states
Placing down their dessert
We can't see the apple tart as it has been drowned in custard
A blob of rapidly melting ice cream on top
But Melanie and I are far too engrossed in our plate of chocolatey goodness
The wine appears
"Will you be wanting any more madam?" he asks
We tell him no although I think she's tempted.
It's heading up 7 we know we shouldn't order coffees but decide what the hell and go for it
Mum is still drinking her wine so declines the hot drink offer
Craig pays the bill
A few breaks to the toilet and the clock is almost at 7.15
We hurry over the road but there are still plenty milling around
Guys and Dolls a musical
"I wonder if we will know many of the songs" my Mum asks
I spot the 'end time' clock on entrance and inwardly groan
10.15pm - I mean that's three hours of being sung at.
I hope they are good.
It has to be said that the stage set is very good
I quite liked some of the outfits even the pink tartan suit one of the chaps is wearing
It turns out there is varying degrees of singing ability
I daren't look at Mum
I know she keeps peering at Melanie in a WTF kind of way
Melanie tries not to be drawn into it
As a row of 4 we realise that the actors can probably see our faces
and our frowns
So after 20 minutes of sheer bewilderment
We attempt to change our facial features to something resembling enjoyment
That proves challenging
All of the chaps seem to have decent voices
However, Guys and Dolls is set in New York
So a twangy New York Yorkshire accent with the odd blast of Barnsley keeps appearing
They sing in the same twangy New York accent
Which I think should involve the chewing of gum
One of the characters is a hefty chap who appears on stage eating
In every scene,
We clock the donut, the wrap, the muffin, an apple and the strudle
After we wonder if the weight gain has occurred this week only
after all there are 6 performances.
Overall things are doing great,
Until we hit the mission hall
Sarah the lead character and one of the love interests proves to have an unusual voice
the kind that shatters glasses and makes dogs howl and cats on edge
At one point we do wonder if she is going to stop singing
Mum considers turning down her hearing aid
We wondered if she might consider turning it off
It doesn't help that the row in front have started to giggle
We can tell from the general up and down nature of the shoulder shake
Eventually they must realise Mum needs more wine
So they stop singing and the curtains close
We escape for a while
Me and Melanie need the toilet
Apparently Mum needs the bar
We buy coffee
Although to be honest there will be no sleeping in this performance
Not with that noise
I buy maltesers
We find Mum nursing a glass of wine.
And then off we go for part two
We inwardly groan when the woman from the mission comes on
We know she's going to sing again
Mum did wonder whether she realised she was tone deaf during the interval.
The best part of the musical is when the finale song appears at 10.01pm
They manage to finish early,
Does that mean they sang faster.
On Friday we booked to go to see the new Fantastic Beasts film at one of the early showings, it is a great film which I really enjoyed Jude Law and Eddie Redmayne are superb actors in their respective roles, but it will never beat my favourite Harry Potter.
On Saturday I had been invited by my future daughter-in-law to go with her and her Mum and Nan wedding dress shopping in Holmfirth, she had booked a specific appointment so we had a couple of hours of her trying on dresses, she looked amazing in all of them but there was a definite 'one' that made us all teary and needless to say that was the one that left the shop with us. I felt very honoured and privileged to be asked to go along for such a special occasion.
The scenery on the way there and back was beautiful, Yorkshire is often referred to as God's own country
Afterwards we had a wander around Holmfirth, the home of the TV series Last of the Summer Wine