AND RELAX....

OK, so a big thank you for all your responses from Friday's post - don't stress too much, it's just that when I get cross or angry or frustrated I often find it easier to write it down - even if I have to make it cryptic LOL!  I'm doing OK, I allowed the universe to deal with the issues, kept fingers and toes crossed offered up the odd prayer and the universe came back and said - all is good.  It doesn't alter who I am or what I stand for but it does mean that I can start to re-focus a little and stop stressing quite so much.  And for the record the story about the sleeping wasn't me either it really was someone else, me on brain balancing tablets would not be a good idea!

So to prove that I'm doing good a little bit of crafting - I know don't fall off your chair!

Now I've documented all my 12 x 12 layouts I feel able to hit the format again and document some more recent fun we've had.

I think I put this picture on my blog the other week and now here it is finally done, I'm in a using up mode at the moment, trying not to buy stash for the sake of buying stash, I always feel good when I manage to use up little things and papers and to be honest I thought the wooden scrabble letters had had their day - but no I will not be defeated I will use them up! 

Another layout from the same day - loving the action shots! Again using up bits that I've had for ages - including some metal brads that I bought that say sport!  Now all I need to do is use up the 'alien face' brads and the 'rocket' brads that say space on them and I'll be all sorted (not joking on this - the brads had three styles and I'm still trying to use them up!)

 Change of colour I love this layout - loads of glossy accents and mismatched papers that - well that actually matched once I'd done, some velvet ribbon and journal around the edges!  Plus there was a metal structure in the way on the picture of my little lad so by overlaying the photo - your eye is drawn to the picture! 

  And finally - well let's be honest when you get a photo of yourself that you can cope with you really need to scrap it - just to prove you were around when the camera was out!  And yes more scrabble letters used up!

So there you have it, four layouts all completed. 

We've had a very exhausting weekend up to now, we've been decorating and reflooring and reskirting and hanging venetian blinds and curtains and sorting beds and well you get the idea - actually the 'we' part is mainly the royal 'we' because if my better half Craig left me to hang curtains and do laminate and fix skirting - well I dread to think - never known one end of a spirit level for the other so it wouldn't have been a good idea, but all the sorting of the stuff that came out of the office into the guest room, then into lad's room and our room and some back into the office wouldn't really have been sorted without little old me - so I will take some of the credit!  

The promise today is that we'll do nothing (except possibly spend three hours in the cinema watching Avatar 3D extended version - I never got to see it 3D first time round so might just have to do that today - but apart from that - nothing doing - nothing - well maybe a little crafting but definitely no cleaning or tidying or well you get the idea

What are you doing this bank holiday monday?  Anything fun?

ROCKING YOUR WORLD FRIDAY AND LIFE IS STARTING TO UNRAVEL....

Life is Starting to UnRavel (Scroll own if you're here for Rocking your World and Don't want to Read my Emotional Drivel)

OK - so sometimes it's easier to say things here because it feels anonymous doesn't it - even though we know it's not anonymous we can pretend that we can say these things and well no one actually reads them - but then you realise that there are some beautiful people who read and listen and understand and well if no body reads it - it won't matter really will it....



So what do you do when a situation is damaged, that it reflects on you but the outcome is out of your hands, what do you do when life catches up and kicks you from behind, even when you weren't expecting it, what do you do when you know your peers know but you just don't want to talk about it, you weren't involved it wasn't you it's all messed up - what do you do when your intuitive brain is proved right and then you realise that things are not good - as an adult I reflect on things that have left me damaged - now don't get me wrong this doesn't mean that I'm not level headed or able to adjust to life but there are instances in my past that truly sadden me and as an adult I'm doing all within my power not to allow things to affect my child as they affected me - I suppose that's the bit about parenting that you try and make things better for the next generation whilst still teaching them values.


The amazing part of life is that you meet people and assume they aren't damaged, that their life was easier without the hurdles and the pitfalls and then you learn, that what moulds us as adults is directly linked by the happy times when we were younger but more importantly often what moulds us are the sadder, harder more damaged times we have had to deal with through life.  

These things can be insignificant things but they still damage us, they can be huge things that lead to obvious damage but they are what moulds us, they all make us who we become, we armour plate against life, we don't let our guard down because we know what will come - and what we really want to do is drop the battle shield and the spear, we want to move away from the enclosure and the wall that guards our back, we want to take off the stab vest and free ourselves of the locks of life, it's hard and it makes us sad but damage doesn't always lead to a release - learning to accept and move on - damage sometimes means that you pick up more armour along the way and the prickly self becomes encased in that plating that sometimes stops us from life and thus stops us from living.  

Maybe it's time to put the armour and the shields down for a while - even when we are vulnerable we can learn to accept and deal with the blows that life gives us - I am my own person with my own choices and I stand by them, if I'm wrong I will raise my hand and admit it - I'll protect my own but appreciate that we are not perfect and that when life throws these curve balls well we have to sometimes learn to duck!


A LITTLE GEM OF A CONVERSATION AND NO BEFORE YOU ASK THIS IS NOT MADE UP...!



OK so here is how the conversation went - honestly - this is someone I love dearly who is having a seriously tough time, this person is under the doctors at the mo and they are prescribing tablets that in all honesty come with a bible of do's and don't's and side effects galore - honestly if they'd read these first they might not be taking them at all.  The tablets have some atrocious side effects but apparently are to help balance them for a while - I'm not convinced!

Feeling tired on day one of taking the tablets (although unsure what day it is) this person settles down on the sofa and decides to snooze, their sleep pattern is bad at the best of time so they don't think anything of this, they wake at 8 o'clock, it's neither dark nor light - puzzled they attempts to fathom out whether it's morning or evening, they're not sure, they knows they slept but they can't remember what time they went to sleep, because it's 8 o'clock and they thinks they've done their normal trick of being awake through the night they assumes it must be morning and therefore they must be tired and therefore they must need more sleep, so head up to bed...

they wake and look at their watch it says 11 - the daylight outside indicate it's morning - but then they wonder what day it is, they fell asleep at 6 ish - now was that morning or evening?????  Woke at 8 which they assumed to be morning and therefore bedtime but maybe it wasn't - maybe it was evening and not morning - so they now wake up at 11 in the morning - but which morning??? These tablets - mmmm - not good, how many days has this person been missing??? Then they think - it's all good because they are  awake now but would still like to know how many days they've missed - they put on the news channel - awesome stuff because let's be honest - it tells you the day and time whenever you want - so they obtain the day and the date and the time - mmmm now what day did they actually go to sleep???  Are the tablets working - don't know let you know later - but they are smiling a lot (sometimes in a manic sense) mmm - they are good at that and it doesn't tell you anything - plus they use the word FINE a lot - and we all know what that means!  

The above has been written throughout the week and well it seemed a shame to delete it - so I've left it intact but technically this is Rocking your World Friday so Good Morning Rockers and Rockettes I promise to do my grateful part now!  

I'm grateful for occasionally finding a weblink that leads to changes in my life - Flylady.net was a link put up as a link to Carmen when she was threatening some domestic clutter clearing and so I went for a nosy - before I know it I'm signing up receiving loads of e-mails and my home is definitely benefiting, with improvements in my home you start to feel better in yourself and before you know it changes for me are afoot as well - love it!  So now I have a shiny sink (every day) an empty dishwasher, a washing machine on full blast and a gorgeously clean and tidy bathroom - loving it!  I'm off to provide a little domestic assistance to my sister this morning - I'll let you know how it goes.


I'm grateful for the focus of my husband when we start another decorating project - we started the purple room last week (it's not purple anymore i'm going to have to find something else to call it aren't I) it need stripping of paper, skirting, making good the walls, repapering, painting the paper (as we use lining paper) stripping the carpet out, gripper rods and underlay and putting down the fibreboard - and yes we are at this stage already - now weather dependant we'll be starting the laminate later woo hoo!


I'm grateful for time with my little man yesterday - he is so sweet - love ya babes!


I'm grateful for finding my scrapbooking mojo this week - after recording all those layouts last week and having a few spare scrapbook albums in hand I finally feel that I can get on with new layouts woo hoo!  


I'm going to leave it there - if you managed to get to this point - well done pat on the back etc!  


Hope you are having an awesome Friday

ROCKING YOUR WORLD FRIDAY

OK, it's been a strange week overall, I've been off work this week (well technically), although still seem to be in work mode as well so it's a bit of a mixed week.

First on my grateful list is spending time with my hubby, Craig, he's been off this week and spending time with him has been awesome, we've been busy, had some time out, some time at home, travelling to friends in Stafford busy busy busy so he's number one on the list this week - love ya babe!

I'm also grateful for the family time we had over the weekend when my cousin Sophia got married, it was a beautiful service and she looked absolutely gorgeous as did all the bridesmaids and page boys etc, we stayed overnight at the hotel where she had the reception so it was lots of fun, although we were all a little the worse for wear on Sunday which meant lots of sleeping etc on Sunday meaning it disappeared in a flash - (in all honesty we stole some of Sunday to enjoy it on Saturday - so we paid the price on Sunday) oh hell fire I'm waffling big style aren't I!

 A picture of the happy couple

and me and my hubby at the wedding

I'm grateful for digital cameras - I decided this week to try and photograph every 12 x 12 layout I've done and that's no small feat when you consider that I've been scrapping since 2004 - I have many many albums and apparently 418 pages!!!!! but have recently realised that I've occasionally scrapped the same event twice - so this is my way of preventing this happening again!  Craig has been a star with this as removing all those layouts from albums, photographing and replacing has taken an absolute age - but hopefully will be well worth it! 

I'm grateful for the wallpaper stripper - it's meant the purple room has been stripped of it's wallpaper in less than a day and that is no small task, it's now looking well like a room that needs papering but at least the wallpaper is no more and we're going to have to rename it - because it's not purple either!

I was amazed last week at how my posting seemed to really strike a cord with quite a few of you - I was of the view that I was the only one who did the self sabotaging self abuse but apparently not!  So if you were one of the visitors last week who read that post and either commented or sat at home nodding then I am thankful and grateful for not feeling so alone or so different than everyone else!  I'm stopping the waiting game - not for me and in my weekly rocking your world posting I'm going to try and put something down that I wouldn't normally do to try and get myself out of this 'waiting' game!


This week I'm going to spend some time painting my nails - for nobody else but me!  (Please note this is usually the one thing I do for a wedding and so my fingers and toe nails have been painted twice in the last two and a half years!)


For those of you keeping up with my posting - dear hubby has given me permission to share our canvas with you!  It has taken an age to do and has been a true bonding experience for the two of us but so worth it! 

The knotwork on the right hand side is the knot we used when we go married which Craig designed and we've used ever since.

And finally - step back in amazement I've done some crafting and yes I know it's ony two 12 x 12 layouts but hey - it's crafting!

So there you go another Rocking your World Friday


If you stop by say hello and tell me what you'll be doing this week because you're no longer waiting for life to change before you get on...


And finally is Mr Linky behaving this week?  Yep looks like it - if you join in don't forget to link so I can come and visit!

ROCKING YOUR WORLD FRIDAY

OK so here we go Friday again - the weeks are simply flying by - does anyone else think this or is it just me?  I mean we are into the third week of the six week holidays already!  

I've had an awesome week - really finding a little bit of me again - I've been missing a while - how? - well it's easy - you just set too and ignor yourself don't you - you know where you keep going full tilt auto pilot continually but before you know it what you're actually doing is missing out on life - you don't mean to do it and you're sure it will come good at some point and when it comes good life will be great but until then you'll just wait - wait and well wait a bit more - the question is what am I waiting for?  For life to start?   I'm 37 and therefore think that life may have already started, or maybe I'm waiting for when I'm thinner (yes this is definitely one of my favourite excuses) - it's like a form of self abuse, you see I'll not buy any new clothes until I get thinner - they look awful anyway don't they?  And then I don't bother getting my hair cut because well what's the point and then you think well we never go out so I get my happy 'fix' from eating food and more food leads to more food and I eat absolute crap and I know at some point I'll do something about it but until then I'll keep going and - well you can see the vicious circle.  So what do you do when you get into a vicious circle - well two things you take a deep intake of breath (usually followed by a few tears - but they are a good release and a way to start seeing a way forward), then you do something fairly outragious that goes against the norm (ie having a haircut) and you 

"be the best you can be whilst still living the life you wish to live"

and before you know it the self abusing individual goes from this haircut (with a smile plastered elaborately on for effect - even if the smile isn't that genuine) to..

this

and the grimace from the first picture turns into wanting to smile in the second and all because of a haircut (and time with my little man of course)!

so my grateful here is finding a little bit of me and allowing me to be me

I'm also grateful to acknowledge that I'm going to stop trying to beat myself up continually - I'm going to just be me for a bit, making sensible choices and enjoying life - so I'm grateful for the clarity that I have at the minute! 

I'm grateful for my sister who never ceases to amaze me even when she is going through the toughest of times, she won't let me accept second best - she won't allow me to say "it'll do" - when she knows categorically that it won't and for that I'm truly grateful! 

I'm grateful for milky coffees in the early evening and episodes of True Blood on DVD - pure escapism!

I'm grateful for the special time me and Craig are sharing, creating a joint piece of artwork for our bedroom, it's looking awesome I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to share it with you - it's fairly cutting edge and very very personal but it is beautiful!  I had to tell Melanie not to read it when she popped over recently - she giggled and said she doesn't read other peoples art journaling - all I can say is that it's a good job and thank you to all of you who commented on this I'm going to take on the recommendation about writing the story behind the canvas on the back hopefully future generations will benefit.

I'm grateful for the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, what a beautiful and amazing place, it's latest sculptures are divine - who thought wood could be so gorgeous.    

we wandered and photographed and had a coffee and chatted and laughed and giggled and it was truly beautiful!  I am surrounded by such beautiful people and for this I am truly grateful!

 

 and I'm also grateful for this little guy who we found whilst enjoying Yorkshire Sculpture Park 

who reminded me of the fragility and beauty of life, that we should enjoy the nectar that life feeds us, but when we are full to move on and flutter around life taking in it's delights and beauties, to share time with people, to love and laugh and truly embrace for our time is precious, not to be wasted or ignored or swallowed up with negativity but to be appreciated and sometimes not to take things too seriously!  I'm also grateful for him teaching me that it's OK to be different - in amongst the other butterflies he looked so different but going with the crowd isn't always the way!!  

Finally, I'm grateful for all those that read my weekly list and I'm grateful for all those that join in and allow me to share their precious moments of the week - until we meet again!  

ROCKING YOUR WORLD FRIDAY

Wow Friday already

can't believe it's arrived again

OK List - let's make this a good one! 

No 1. A lie in - I'm not sleeping very well at the moment and this morning Craig left me fast asleep in bed (with a morning cuppa by the side of the bed just in case I woke - which I did - drank it went back to sleep), then little man got up and left me fast on as well - how sweet is that - he did wake me when he brought the VIP passes that apparently I need now to get into his bedroom but that was at 9.05am!

No 2 - Free play events in the park last weekend, our council has gone all out to provide low or no cost activities through the holidays and last weekend there was a full weekend of free activities in the main park in town, so we headed over to see if there was anything interesting to do.

First he tried the bungee trampolines

We laughed so much because the lad who was monitoring the harness and the trampoline was amusing in the 'is he real' kind of way and as little man is getting older he gets slightly less tolerant of people who treat him in a patronising way - he tends to look at us and roll his eyes!  In this particular instance the lad said two confusing statements that had the eye roll happening

the first was 

"do you like to bounce?"

well derr it's a trampoline with bungee cords what do you think

the other when he was trying to encourage the kids - said with deadpan voice

"are you alright sausage!"

there are all kinds of offence that could be taken by people with statements like this I tell you and the more he said it whilst little man waited for his turn the more Craig and I ended up in stitches, thankfully when it was little man's turn this bloke when for a cigarette break and so little man had someone slightly more ... well human LOL

Anyway second thing was golf

it was set out over a large area and to be honest I didn't think either would enjoy it but they did and played it like 'proper' golf as little man called it, Craig used to play golf quite a lot when we lived in Stafford but little man has only ever played it on the Wii and they both had great fun playing it 'for real' well sort of nearly almost! 

Then he spotted the Kangoo boots up on the hillside so we headed over to them which he loved - action shot proving the point!

Then finally we were pointed in the direction of the board games tent - now before you groan these board games were nothing like any we had played before and once the bloke from www.imaginationgaming.co.uk showed us how to play we were well away!

This particular game called Gobblet had little man enthralled but we played loads of other games as well - we were in there over two hours!  

So the end of Saturday a fun day out and we'd spent - wait for it £2.40 (on two cups of coffee) we hadn't even had to pay for parking because the local council has abolished charges on a Saturday, to try and encourage people to shop local! 

No 3.  Our anniversary evening, I did completely different food - feta salad, olives, flavoured breads, houmous - all delicious finger foods - the canvas was set up to paint on and we were raring to go - didn't get a lot done on the canvas during the evening LOL too much chatting and wine drinking but it's primed and ready and we've discussed some ideas - I'll share once it once its done.

No. 4 Phone calls from distant (geographically speaking) friends - the gorgeous Jude - she is such an amazing person and managed to call not only when I had time to chat but Melanie was here too so she got two for the price of one as it were!  

No. 5 - Finally for my sister, who although having her own difficulties at the moment, took time out with me yesterday to cajole me into making changes - you see I had a hair appointment and not a clue what I was having done - so she brought magazines and sat and chatted and looked online at ideas etc and then she came with me to the hairdressers so that I wouldn't just do what I normally do which is say 'yes that's fine' all the time - and I came out with a hairstyle I like - so thank you Melanie - you are awesome! 

Little on the crafting front to share, I've been on with two circle journals - but don't want to spoil the surprise so they're photographed but not shareable and I shared the mid week photo with you, promise to try and do some crafting this weekend and if I do I'll try and share, now what to do with little man today - we were stuck in all day yesterday waiting for a delivery (which was broken when it turned up but that's another story) so need to get us out of these four walls at least for a little bit today!

Hope you're all having a grand rocking your world Friday 

let's try for the linky Rockettes - it's failed me the last couple of weeks! 

MID WEEK FUN!

OK - so thought I'd manage a mid-week post - yes it's not a What's Rocking Your World Friday for a change - it's a good old fashioned scrapbook layout tee hee!

Got a load of photos printed and they dropped through the door earlier in the week, so set too with a favourite piccie and this is what I made 

I love this photo of my beautiful sister Melanie and her daughter - pure natural beauties - both of them - not a stitch of make up was worn, not planned, nor organised - just the two of them enjoying time together on my niece's 11th birthday! 

I loved doing the layout, using my Tim Holtz stack of papers, tearing paper, stitching it, inking flowers, adding buttons and 7 Gypsy's stamps for the title!  A few subtle additions - glossy accents and little tiny diamantes

then I managed to use up some of these black hearts within the stitched hearts this morning - I'd left it out on my table and finished it this morning when the idea came to me!

 then a rub on to remind me that they aren't just mother and daughter but girlfriends too!

 Right off again now - super quick post do you like?  I'm off to try and fathom out how to empty the office contents back into the office without it looking like it did before, I've already managed an hour and well it doesn't look any different LOL - but I'm sure perseverance will help!

Finally it's a whole twenty years since I met my soulmate I can't believe how quick that time has gone my life has been beautiful ever since I met him and I am truly blessed and grateful every single day - so what to do for an anniversary evening? 

I could make a romantic meal and we could sit and chat and eat (which is pretty much something we do most weekends) 

or my other idea is 

well it's a little bit different 

what do you think?

I'm thinking about getting one of the giant canvases out and setting up in the dining space - moving the table out of the way, grabbing some cushions for the floor, getting some simple foods to nibble on and then spending the evening doing a giant canvas to celebrate twenty years together, listening to music, laughing and giggling - so what do you think?  Which one would you do?