SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD TO SAY THANK YOU TO SOOOO MANY PEOPLE

OK here's the warning before you start this one is a heavy going posting so if you fancy a read I suggest a cuppa and please accept my apologies for not being my usual bubbly self - sometimes it's best to embrace life when it's proving difficult - don't you think?

OK so it's past the weekend and what a weekend, if you didn't know I was at Art from the Heart with Dyan for the weekend doing the intermediate art journaling course - so was it good? - actually it was brilliant - I loved every single minute.  We caught up with friends from the last course, we met new friends, we laughed and giggled and chatted, drank wine, ate cupcakes, muffins, scotch tablet, the most decadent fudge I've ever tasted courtesy of Jude's Mum, we had awesome food prepared by Pam who worked tirelessly!

We had the delights of Dyan even with her poorly back (which was helped by a night out dancing to a bit of Northern Soul - I kid you not).  We saw the new studio which is divine, played in the new teaching space which is gorgeous (even if a little hot given the weekend we've had but you can't blame anyone for that!) learnt so much and had a pretty splendiferous time! 

I feel very blessed today because I'm having a tough time of it at the moment with situations outside of my control and that is quite demoralising, but it's in amongst these dark days that I see the glimmers of what I really have, from an amazing family, to blog friends and personal friends and art journal friends and art from the heart friends and in amongst it people who truly believe in me and that's special because when you are in this dark period it's hard to lift your head up and see what is actually around you, what I've found in the last few days is that i'm surrounded by people who believe in me and for that I feel truly blessed.  

When you are little, you believe that despite difficult times and adversity that truth will always win through, the hardest part of being an adult is learning actually that this isn't always the case and that sometimes no matter what you do - that life can throw you a curve ball and you basically get smacked in the face - that's where I'm at at the minute, down on my knees and not sure I can actually get up again bruised and battered, not sure if I'll be able to dust myself off and smile again, the tears have flowed considerably, in fact I should get shares in kleenex because I'm sure their share price will have gone up with my considerable over usage over the last few days, I didn't let it spoil my weekend but what I did do was put down the worries I had even if for a little while and immerse myself in creativity - pure therapy for the soul, but back to reality and life keeps knocking me down and so it's been hard and tough couple of days.

I took steps today to protect myself and give me some space, I intend on taking what I've learnt this weekend and using it to put down things on paper, my anger - well my anger is turning to sadness - I never thought parts of my life would end this way but I'm starting to see that they might, there is still a glimmer of hope -  but it's just that - a little fraction of light left at the very end.

So here I am reflecting and thinking, I'm sorry if this seems heavy and sad and desperate and well actually not very me - but sometimes you have to accept that you are just there in that moment and well you just try and drag yourself along and let your mind deal with things for the time being

On a more positive note - look at this beautiful gift from the equally beautiful Jude!

And this gift that Janet had for all of us - something she picked up from free cycle and brought for us all to share!

then this beautiful gift from Suzy which brought a smile to me today - that I hadn't thought possible, Suzy is partaking in a circle journal that I'm doing and I post on to her and I've been sending her a card when I pass the journals on, so she's gathering quite a collection - this was her awesome way of saying thank you!

So how lucky am I?

Really lucky - beautiful gifts from beautiful friends, thank you 

Jude, Janet and Suzy - I feel so blessed. 

So back to the weekend fun - this is just one of the items I made - and I love it - from making the book to all the fantastic techniques - if you fancy a go at something similar head over to Dyan's website and check out the Stampotique class she's running or better still start art journaling - it's utter fun!

then the gorgeous 3-d balls - the reason I kid you not - the absolute reason that my sister had to do the second weekend - because she loves these!  The page isn't finished - but they are fun aren't they!

Then there was the fun of constructing pages - such an assorted variety from this - which is better in real life than my pictures gives it credit for!

To this - does my mask suit me?

But my absolute favourites are these!

I can't stop stroking these pages - absolutely completely and utterly the most fun - ever!  Thank you Dyan!  Thank you so much!!!!!

Then on with the scrapbook class taught by the beautiful Sandra a couple of weeks ago at my local scrapbook store!

It was originally a single page layout but there was a sheet of damaged paper which she offered up - never one to turn down a sheet of pretty paper - even a damaged one - I've managed to push the layout to two pages!

then just to confirm that I haven't forgotten the inevitable alterables box - this is next for the treatment - a chocolate box given to me by my Mum minus the chocolates!

And finally - my reason to smile today - my son - isn't he awesome!  

Don't be surprised if many of these appear on my friday

"What's Rocking Your World" 

but sometimes you need to take a breath and do a midweek grateful posting don't you! 

I spent a little time today with my siblings and Mum and in amongst my sadness and distraught self we did have some funny conversations so I thank them for that - particularly the one that concluded that you 

"couldn't spend chihuahua's in Primark!"

Nope we decided that 38 chihuahua's would be random apart from anything else you'd end up with many empty dog leads and more to the point if you needed change what would you receive?

Yes the rest of my family is barking (literally in this conversation LMAO!)

What we were actually saying was that we couldn't spend two hours in Primark but it sounded like chihuahua's so do we sound completely mad?  You bet you but I wouldn't change any of us for the world!

SUNDAY - AND BREATH AND REPEAT

Yes it is a curious thing to have as a title, but this week has felt like I've been holding my breath, it has been one of the hardest weeks that I've had in quite some time but I know I'm not alone on this, in fact everyone I speak to seems to be in some way struggling from a tumultuous basis because life is throwing curve balls faster than they can bat them away!  But I go back to what I said on Friday I'm alive and I have a fantastic family and some amazing friends both in person and virtually in blogland and to them I am eternally grateful.  So although this is somewhat belated this may turn into something of a grateful posting.

I thought I'd share my page from last night - anyone whose been following mine and my Mum's blog will probably know things have been unsettling for us both - her blog post on Friday made me cry because I know how heartfelt the post was, so I thought I'd pour my week onto a page last night - what do you think?  I loved the image when I saw it - but think it looks much better tattooed - don't you?

 Close ups

 And again

I felt so much better mentally once I'd finished it - I haven't a clue what I wrote in the journaling (sometimes it's good to write it and not be able to make it out afterwards LOL) the flag I felt I was wearing at the time was of a different colour and meaning but the intention was just the same.  So for now I'm going to put that side of things down (although at some point I may share the angry Thursday page, that Craig sent me outside to do - for fear of me unintentionally redecorating the house - I kid you not outside paint throwing - you can't beat it - don't believe me - give it a try - you can always mow the grass afterwards and nobody would know!)

So back to positive - for Christmas my Mum got a GPS gadget from her hubby, to be honest my Mum is not the most gadget friendly of people - instruction booklets are boring and she wants to be able to use it immediately if not sooner!  So when this appeared at Christmas she was not surprised (as she usually gets gadgets) but was a little lost as to how she'd use it.  She did take it to Center Parcs with her and her verdict was that the machine knew where she was - anyone thinking she might not be getting the full potential out of this little gadget?  

Anyway we borrowed it and went to find our first geo-cache with it - we've done Treasure Hunts and thought what the hell we'll go for geo-caching and see what we think.  We'd been toying with it as an idea for some time, hubby had played with phone GPS's etc (which hadn't worked as we'd wanted) and we came full circle back to this little gadget and then Clare (who I know from scrapbook class) posted a comment (BIG WAVE TO CLARE - HELLO HUN NOT SEEN YOU IN AGES) and apparently she's into it and she's got Ann Marie addicted to (BIG WAVE TO ANN MARIE - HOPEFULLY SEE YOU MONDAY!) so we bit the bullet and got on with it!  

Well said 9 year old was impressed because the first geo-cache was within walking distance, which meant he wanted to cycle there!  Which in turn meant the pleasant Friday evening walk was somewhat brisker than my back was happy with - anyway we did it - it took hours even though we didn't really travel any significant distance, whilst searching for said 'cache' we were getting a little worried that we wouldn't find it when said 9 year old pipes up

"Nope Mum, I can't see it the only thing down here is a  sandwich box" 

"That's it" I cried

Not sure if he was expecting a treasure chest marked with a skull and crossbones filled gold doubloons because he looked confused that the 'treasure' was in a butty box!

Anyway first cache and we'd enjoyed it so yesterday we picked my Mum up and went on another walk and found 3 more - and what a sod they were to find, the first was wet but we found it and put our name on the list nonetheless

The second was extremely well hidden and if it hadn't been for my Mum we simply wouldn't have found it but we did.  However I did get seriously nettled in the process - wasn't expecting wounds from this geo-caching malarkey!

The third well was designed for giants to find - I kid you not! If my Mum had found this on her own - she'd have needed a ladder - it said stealth was required as it was in a very open place - stealth stealth - does this look discrete to you?

But I can honestly say we had a fabulous time and then we headed to the craft shop and spent money money money (tee hee - well actually I bought some DST and a new Tim Holtz die that I'd been after) and then we went to the sweetie shop - peanut brittle, fudge, scotch tablet (which I blame on Jude because she got us addicted when we met up at AFTH!) 

Much fun was had by all - whilst on our walk (after the first cache but before the second) looky what we found

isn't he cute

now back to crafting I've done a couple of scrapbook classes recently with the lovely Sandra and I thought like a dutiful student I'd show them completed - I adored making this one because we learnt a new technique which was fabulous - I wasn't sure if I'd find a photo that was appropriate until I came across this one, the elderly lady in the middle sat down is actually my Great-Grandmother and until 12 months ago I wasn't even aware the photo existed, it also shows my Dad and one of his brothers and two of his sisters together with an Aunty and it's so lovely to have a layout that does it justice - so Sandra - many many thanks for this beautiful class.

The second one I did at the last class a few weeks ago and I know for a fact that I had an idea of the photos that I was going to use, but by the time I got round to putting them together they had escaped me but I had some lovely photos from a family Christening we went to recently and to be honest the colours just went so well - I just had to use them - what do you think?

So if you reach here say hello - I'll spend all day now coming back to find out if anyone's commented LOL - drive myself nuts with it!  Hope you're all having a wonderfully blessed Sunday!

PART 2 - JUST FOR JUDE!

Ok this one is for Jude (well not just Jude but she did say that she was waiting on part two), she said she wasn't used to my short postings, they didn't sit right so here you go Friday morning war and peace.  

Well I was expecting to wake to snow but haven't woo hoo - the parcel I was having to wait in for has arrived - hurray which means not stranded in all day - so me thinks a little jaunt out as little man wants something called go-go's from WH Smiths - I call them plastic crap (they are definitely not art Jude!) but he likes them and he's been a little star this week, he's had his hair cut and got his new glasses, he's played out nicely, played in well and overall had a rather chilled half term!  

On the downside he managed to run over his own foot yesterday whilst playing out on his go-cart - WTF - now can someone please tell me how this is possible?  I'm still at a loss as to how he's done it, he managed to do the same with his bike a few weeks ago and ended up with a bruise and scraping his skin on the back of his ankle - is it just boys in general or is mine more clumsy?  Me thinks he just likes taking risks when he's out of my eye sight and then suffers the consequences.  Yes, I'm one of those Mum's who always says be careful at the first sign of danger - can't help it!  Mind you found him driving his go-cart backwards down the road the other day - without looking where he was going "Sorry Mum" is all I heard for about half an hour - thankfully we live on a cul-de-sac with very little traffic but honestly! 

I'm also going to buy hubby another art journal the A2 is just too damn big for what he wanted to journal - and the more he played with trying to get the journal to work - the unhappier her got with it!  So I'm off to buy him an A3 journal which I think he'll find a lot more enticing.

I might even manage to get the laptop picked up - apparently it's fixed after it's altercation with a hot cup of coffee before Christmas we discovered poorly husbands, blue tack, hot coffee and laptops don't mix!  It's been home once already but had to be returned primarily because the return key stuck down and every letter came out as a symbol or a 'z' - I was not impressed, so when they phoned to say it was fixed the other day I was a tad sarcastic 

"Really?" 

"Yes, I can assure you it's fixed" 

"What the keyboard and everything" 

"Yes, it's all fixed now it has a new keyboard" 

"Yes - but does it work?" 

We'll see - I'm likely to throw a massive strop if it doesn't!

Talking of massive strops I threw a silent one yesterday - yes I know what is the point of a silent strop - well I was in the changing rooms of a department store and it would appear that I'm having the same problem as the M&S knickers mentioned on Dyan's blog but on this occasion it wasn't the knickers that were the issue it was the bras - honestly - my Mum kept bringing them to try on and they kept getting bigger and when I saw the size I said - well I won't say what I said but lets say that I wasn't impressed!  So I've managed to stick to a healthy eating plan all week and I've managed to get on my glider for two days running!

Now my biggest problem is I don't like exercise I never have and I've yet to find a way of exercising and art journaling at the same time (believe you and me I'll be the first to find it if it exists), Melanie always laughs at me as to how impossible I make things for myself, the last time I had a bout on my glider I had my MP3 player on whilst gliding and reading a book - and yes I was doing this all at the same time - call it mental multitasking! 

This morning I was just reading and gliding at the same time so that wasn't as bad LOL! Although you can only have a book that's so heavy otherwise I'll lose my balance and fall off - honestly - atrocious balance.

Anyway - anyone who's meandered along here this morning (afternoon, evening or middle of the night) will wonder where the hell the crafting has gone so here goes!  This is the one I did at Dyan's before we did the anatomy of a page and so when I came home I finish it off properly - it just needed something - couldn't quite decide what - then I realised so paint, stamping, inks - you get the drift - love it even more now!

 Then this is me moving on a little - and yes before you sk the bus looked like that before - I've never said I'm an artist LOL!

 This is one of the few that I've done with straight lines - well hand drawn straight lines I love the colour combination it just flows and look no spaces with my writing!

Ok now starting the quirky feel - a combination of four images together, on a brown background - but then had to add colour - never quite know when to stop but I love it none the less!

My other half bought me oil pastels for valentines day - don't you just love it when they take on board something you're raving about!  Another double page combination and those oil pastels really make the pictures pop - don't you think?

 

My Mum loves this one, I've had the images for a while and they just didn't gel with anything I'd done before and then - well it all made sense! 

Tilty wavey writing - this is one of my war and peace pieces but i love it none the less - that and the colour combinations - definitely influenced by Steph's beautiful pastel pages on our AFTH Art Journal weekend - with maybe a little more colour - but you get my drift! 

 One of the smaller pages - liked playing with the border on this one!

And finally this one 'through gritted teeth' - another image that I cut out ages ago and never thought I'd use!

So there you go Jude a nice lengthy post to get your teeth into with my infinite ramblings at the beginning to boot!  Hope everyone is having a great day if you get to this point without dozing off leave me a message (even if you're not Jude LOL) I love reading messages - it makes it feel like a two way communication rather than me sending this off into the internet jungle out there!

WHAT A FABULOUS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Truly and honestly I can't believe it's over with - my weekend at AFTH was absolutely fantastic, Dyan was amazing and it was so revealing to realise how much lighter in our hearts and souls we would feel after the weekend.  

Now anyone whose read my blog will say - but you art journal anyway?  Yes I do but to learn from Dyan is like being given an amazing art journaling tool kit, we learnt about pages, texture, colour and emotions, images, doodling, methods etc but the categoric thing we learnt about was ourselves!  It was absolutely fantastic - added to which my partners in crime (my Mum and sister) were with me and now we're all moving forward on our art journaling journey!  

To have Dyan's expertise guiding us and moving us forward through the weekend was the biggest blessing of all I can wholeheartedly say that if you want to have fun, learn loads, to be freed from some of your mental constraints of everyday life and to meet like minded people and make lots of new friends this is the course for you!  

I don't have problems in the written format (as those who've witnessed my lengthy blog posts and comments on others blogs can vouch for) but the weekend really and truly allowed me to listen to my inner voice.  Yes I can talk for England, yes I can write down my emotion and yes I have learnt to deal with difficult subjects but in amongst all this I was given the opportunity - actually, no let's say it properly the PERMISSION to be myself, to say it how I wanted and with all the raw feeling and pent up emotion that I had.  Yes Dyan's amazing teaching gave me 'permission' I hadn't realised that in amongst all of my creativity I had unseen constraints that I attempted to abide by and was frustrated when I didn't - now - no stopping me - so Dyan thank you from the bottom of my heart!  

So lot's of you will be saying - 'I'm not sure if I'm happy with bearing my soul to a room full of people I don't know' and the answer is YOU DON'T HAVE TO - the Dyan way was share if you're happy to, don't if your not there was absolutely no pressure to live up to any expectation - the only request that Dyan asked was that you allowed yourself to be yourself.


So today's frustration - well I haven't done any art journaling since I got home ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - both my Mum, Valencia and my sister Melanie have made the time to art journal since we got home.  Mum was awake at 4am on Monday morning linking people and colour LMAO - she nearly e-mailed Dyan to tell her!  Melanie was art journaling in bed Monday night - have we learnt from the mistress of art journaling or what.


This is about all I've managed to do up to now but I'm pleased with it - this is a gorgeous book I bought from Dyan's and it's going to start my journey of all the things I give myself Permission to do now - and look I hyphenated the word - rather than trying to squeeze it on the one line (which I would have done before the weekend)!

 

 Now when I got home on Sunday this is what greeted me 

 
 

Do you think they missed me?

And I was thoroughly spoilt for the evening - must do this more often LOL - Dyan I'll be in touch about sending deposits - everyone they said YESSSSSSS plus Melanie wants to know how to do 3-D baubles - she's obsessed i'm telling you obsessed!!!!!!

 

Me and my hubby!

Started buying random mags, we've got a great stall in the town where we live that sells on old magazines for a £1 or £1.50 they are usually not that old (last month's usually) and you get to have a good rummage, these are the ones I picked up yesterday, the woodturning one has some great photos in as has the Digital Arts one but the American Curves was wrapped so I couldn't view it and it's primarily muscly women with bikinis on who've had their assets altered by plastic surgeons - not sure how I'm going to use these in my journals LMAO - might just paint clothes on them LOL!


I finally got to meet Shelley - who is my friend Sandra (Sandy Poppins) best mate and we decided my Mum had adopted another daughter in the form of Jude who was fantastic and wonderful and has a fabulous hubby - they travelled all the way from the far north of Scotland for the weekend!  Pop over to Jude and Sandra's blog to see what the weekend looked like!  Plus they've got photos etc!  

Probably the funniest thing that has happened since I've returned home is finding my sister on all these blog photos from the weekend she seems to have made a big impression on everyone, I showed her some of the blogs last night and she kept reading about herself and saying - "very true" - so funny! 

Anyway I'm off to work (boo hoo) but I will be art journaling in the paint format later as well as blopping!


Big waves to all my art journaling buddddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeessssssssssssss - see you in May!