OK so here we go Friday again - the weeks are simply flying by - does anyone else think this or is it just me? I mean we are into the third week of the six week holidays already!
I've had an awesome week - really finding a little bit of me again - I've been missing a while - how? - well it's easy - you just set too and ignor yourself don't you - you know where you keep going full tilt auto pilot continually but before you know it what you're actually doing is missing out on life - you don't mean to do it and you're sure it will come good at some point and when it comes good life will be great but until then you'll just wait - wait and well wait a bit more - the question is what am I waiting for? For life to start? I'm 37 and therefore think that life may have already started, or maybe I'm waiting for when I'm thinner (yes this is definitely one of my favourite excuses) - it's like a form of self abuse, you see I'll not buy any new clothes until I get thinner - they look awful anyway don't they? And then I don't bother getting my hair cut because well what's the point and then you think well we never go out so I get my happy 'fix' from eating food and more food leads to more food and I eat absolute crap and I know at some point I'll do something about it but until then I'll keep going and - well you can see the vicious circle. So what do you do when you get into a vicious circle - well two things you take a deep intake of breath (usually followed by a few tears - but they are a good release and a way to start seeing a way forward), then you do something fairly outragious that goes against the norm (ie having a haircut) and you
"be the best you can be whilst still living the life you wish to live"
and before you know it the self abusing individual goes from this haircut (with a smile plastered elaborately on for effect - even if the smile isn't that genuine) to..
and the grimace from the first picture turns into wanting to smile in the second and all because of a haircut (and time with my little man of course)!
so my grateful here is finding a little bit of me and allowing me to be me
I'm also grateful to acknowledge that I'm going to stop trying to beat myself up continually - I'm going to just be me for a bit, making sensible choices and enjoying life - so I'm grateful for the clarity that I have at the minute!
I'm grateful for my sister who never ceases to amaze me even when she is going through the toughest of times, she won't let me accept second best - she won't allow me to say "it'll do" - when she knows categorically that it won't and for that I'm truly grateful!
I'm grateful for milky coffees in the early evening and episodes of True Blood on DVD - pure escapism!
I'm grateful for the special time me and Craig are sharing, creating a joint piece of artwork for our bedroom, it's looking awesome I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to share it with you - it's fairly cutting edge and very very personal but it is beautiful! I had to tell Melanie not to read it when she popped over recently - she giggled and said she doesn't read other peoples art journaling - all I can say is that it's a good job and thank you to all of you who commented on this I'm going to take on the recommendation about writing the story behind the canvas on the back hopefully future generations will benefit.
I'm grateful for the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, what a beautiful and amazing place, it's latest sculptures are divine - who thought wood could be so gorgeous.
we wandered and photographed and had a coffee and chatted and laughed and giggled and it was truly beautiful! I am surrounded by such beautiful people and for this I am truly grateful!
and I'm also grateful for this little guy who we found whilst enjoying Yorkshire Sculpture Park
who reminded me of the fragility and beauty of life, that we should enjoy the nectar that life feeds us, but when we are full to move on and flutter around life taking in it's delights and beauties, to share time with people, to love and laugh and truly embrace for our time is precious, not to be wasted or ignored or swallowed up with negativity but to be appreciated and sometimes not to take things too seriously! I'm also grateful for him teaching me that it's OK to be different - in amongst the other butterflies he looked so different but going with the crowd isn't always the way!!
Finally, I'm grateful for all those that read my weekly list and I'm grateful for all those that join in and allow me to share their precious moments of the week - until we meet again!