OK here's the warning before you start this one is a heavy going posting so if you fancy a read I suggest a cuppa and please accept my apologies for not being my usual bubbly self - sometimes it's best to embrace life when it's proving difficult - don't you think?
OK so it's past the weekend and what a weekend, if you didn't know I was at Art from the Heart with Dyan for the weekend doing the intermediate art journaling course - so was it good? - actually it was brilliant - I loved every single minute. We caught up with friends from the last course, we met new friends, we laughed and giggled and chatted, drank wine, ate cupcakes, muffins, scotch tablet, the most decadent fudge I've ever tasted courtesy of Jude's Mum, we had awesome food prepared by Pam who worked tirelessly!
We had the delights of Dyan even with her poorly back (which was helped by a night out dancing to a bit of Northern Soul - I kid you not). We saw the new studio which is divine, played in the new teaching space which is gorgeous (even if a little hot given the weekend we've had but you can't blame anyone for that!) learnt so much and had a pretty splendiferous time!
I feel very blessed today because I'm having a tough time of it at the moment with situations outside of my control and that is quite demoralising, but it's in amongst these dark days that I see the glimmers of what I really have, from an amazing family, to blog friends and personal friends and art journal friends and art from the heart friends and in amongst it people who truly believe in me and that's special because when you are in this dark period it's hard to lift your head up and see what is actually around you, what I've found in the last few days is that i'm surrounded by people who believe in me and for that I feel truly blessed.
When you are little, you believe that despite difficult times and adversity that truth will always win through, the hardest part of being an adult is learning actually that this isn't always the case and that sometimes no matter what you do - that life can throw you a curve ball and you basically get smacked in the face - that's where I'm at at the minute, down on my knees and not sure I can actually get up again bruised and battered, not sure if I'll be able to dust myself off and smile again, the tears have flowed considerably, in fact I should get shares in kleenex because I'm sure their share price will have gone up with my considerable over usage over the last few days, I didn't let it spoil my weekend but what I did do was put down the worries I had even if for a little while and immerse myself in creativity - pure therapy for the soul, but back to reality and life keeps knocking me down and so it's been hard and tough couple of days.
I took steps today to protect myself and give me some space, I intend on taking what I've learnt this weekend and using it to put down things on paper, my anger - well my anger is turning to sadness - I never thought parts of my life would end this way but I'm starting to see that they might, there is still a glimmer of hope - but it's just that - a little fraction of light left at the very end.
So here I am reflecting and thinking, I'm sorry if this seems heavy and sad and desperate and well actually not very me - but sometimes you have to accept that you are just there in that moment and well you just try and drag yourself along and let your mind deal with things for the time being
On a more positive note - look at this beautiful gift from the equally beautiful Jude!
And this gift that Janet had for all of us - something she picked up from free cycle and brought for us all to share!
then this beautiful gift from Suzy which brought a smile to me today - that I hadn't thought possible, Suzy is partaking in a circle journal that I'm doing and I post on to her and I've been sending her a card when I pass the journals on, so she's gathering quite a collection - this was her awesome way of saying thank you!
So how lucky am I?
Really lucky - beautiful gifts from beautiful friends, thank you
Jude, Janet and Suzy - I feel so blessed.
So back to the weekend fun - this is just one of the items I made - and I love it - from making the book to all the fantastic techniques - if you fancy a go at something similar head over to Dyan's website and check out the Stampotique class she's running or better still start art journaling - it's utter fun!
then the gorgeous 3-d balls - the reason I kid you not - the absolute reason that my sister had to do the second weekend - because she loves these! The page isn't finished - but they are fun aren't they!
Then there was the fun of constructing pages - such an assorted variety from this - which is better in real life than my pictures gives it credit for!
To this - does my mask suit me?
But my absolute favourites are these!
I can't stop stroking these pages - absolutely completely and utterly the most fun - ever! Thank you Dyan! Thank you so much!!!!!
Then on with the scrapbook class taught by the beautiful Sandra a couple of weeks ago at my local scrapbook store!
It was originally a single page layout but there was a sheet of damaged paper which she offered up - never one to turn down a sheet of pretty paper - even a damaged one - I've managed to push the layout to two pages!
then just to confirm that I haven't forgotten the inevitable alterables box - this is next for the treatment - a chocolate box given to me by my Mum minus the chocolates!
And finally - my reason to smile today - my son - isn't he awesome!
Don't be surprised if many of these appear on my friday
"What's Rocking Your World"
but sometimes you need to take a breath and do a midweek grateful posting don't you!
I spent a little time today with my siblings and Mum and in amongst my sadness and distraught self we did have some funny conversations so I thank them for that - particularly the one that concluded that you
"couldn't spend chihuahua's in Primark!"
Nope we decided that 38 chihuahua's would be random apart from anything else you'd end up with many empty dog leads and more to the point if you needed change what would you receive?
Yes the rest of my family is barking (literally in this conversation LMAO!)
What we were actually saying was that we couldn't spend two hours in Primark but it sounded like chihuahua's so do we sound completely mad? You bet you but I wouldn't change any of us for the world!