Wednesday, 26 May 2010

I THINK I MIGHT BE FALLING APART

So it's Wednesday morning and I've managed to take son to school and drop him off and get back in car before i started crying - drat, was hoping they'd have dried up by now.

I've been exceptionally blessed with some beautiful comments on my last posting, each and every single one of them meant a huge amount - so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I know some people are trying to live their year with a word, but I haven't had one that really ticked all the boxes if I'm honest, I mean really ticked the boxes but I've had one thing said to me over the last week by different people and although I don't feel it at the moment, I'm trying to cling on to it because I'm not sure what will happen if I let it go, this word is 

RESILIANT
I don't feel very resiliant, vulnerable, sad and deflated yes but resiliant no - so why do other people think I am?  I am utterly confused with this, but I'd like to think that I can be resiliant in amongst this as life is feeling pretty tough!  

And Janet just so you know hun I think this one is a super king sized duvet cover at the minute!  I'm hoping it might shrink down to a sock eventually - just not now.
So I'm off to do something now, I've managed to make a cuppa, I'm not liking these trembling hands - not had that before and I'm tired of blowing my nose following the tears - it's getting a little tiresome.

Off to craft I'll probably post this later when hopefully I have something more positive to say - sorry if it's dark on here at the minute in fact as Mellymoo would say it's black black and a bit more black!  Promise I'll try and get happy soon

OK so it's heading up school run time - what has my day brought - well tears but I know I've mentioned those blessed things already, it also brought a card making session - one single card and it took three hours and it's not that sparkling if I'm absolutely honest - so I abandoned the crafting and headed for the hoover and I've had a clean through, not a deep clean just the surface stuff but the house feels a little more tidy for it.  I really want to do some crafting but my focus is all off at the minute so I'm going to give it a rest for now and pick it up in a bit - yes I know that's how ill I am no crafting WTF!

Just to show you how bad it is - this is what took me three hours - honestly  what on earth is that all about?
Anyway going to try again later! 

6 comments:

  1. Oh I wish I could give you a hug. Don't worry about the tears - no one will think bad of you for having a weep, cos we've all had our moments, after all. I can't craft when I'm feeling down cos it shows in what I create, so I prefer to take it out on the poor Hoover as well. Probably the only time the house is presentable is when I'm glum or got PMT! Hang on in there, kiddo. The sun will come out for you another day. Sending love, xx

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  2. Hope you feel better/happier soon honey, take some time out for yourself and indulge. The card turned out great, no matter how long it took and I love the journal pages in your last post, so,so creative.

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  3. Ah hun, yes, you probably are falling apart, but you will get back together again. Take it one small step at a time, focus on that step, then on the next one and so on. Yes, you will cry your tears, and then you will dry them and move on again. I wish there was something I could do to make it better ((hugs))

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  4. Ginnie, I want you to know that I am with you in spirit as you walk through this dark period in your life... sometimes you just have to hole up and wait for better days ahead... and you know, you ARE resiliant, you might not feel like you are, but you are getting up and doing normal everyday things - that is resiliance, keep on keeping on.
    Massivo huggeroonies of the largest, squeeziest kind x x

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  5. Just read your comment on my blog about me hitting my Avatar phase - that made me giggle! Is it something we all have to get through?! ((Hugs)) from me for the day ahead, xxx

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